Milo
17
Schizospec/ ASD/ possible OSDD
Demisexual with an attraction towards masculine people
An affinity for the macabre
My Culture
I am Mayan, specifically indigenous to Chiapas, Mexico. It makes up quite a lot of my being and I'm also very passionate about the practices and preservation of my people's culture. I'm happy to educate others on it but if you are going to be passive aggressive to me or any POC/BIPOC in general I won't even try with you.
Special interests
My passions/special interests consist of cooking, art, anything macabre and or morbid, visual kei and egl, raccoons, mythology/religion, and philosophy.
I am also more than willing to listen to you infodump about anything you are passionate about, I love a good conversation
Current hyperfixations
Currently I'm really into Identity V, Gulu Gulu, Black Butler, and Mortuary Science. But I have a variety of other interests
Trigger list
-reality checking me (i.e. someone tells me that I am human)
-mentions of self harm/sui
-CSA or SA (childhood sexual abuse)
-r*pe
-yelling/ some loud voices
-puke or fecal matter
-jokingly talking about trauma
-incest
-ED
-christianity/Catholicism
-talk about hate crimes
-talk of homelessness (was homeless)
Sensory Issues
-feeling dirty
-bright lights
-loud noise
-being outside (I have agoraphobia still recovering)
-being hot
-physical touch
-smells
-tactile trigger (scratchy clothing, tags on shirts etc)
My beliefs (Very Important)*
I have many beliefs that people deem odd. I believe I'm an other worldly being. I often have contortions in my flesh suit (human form) that cause me extreme pain. It's myself trying to break free. I believe there are people always watching me in the shadows, observing everything I do. I believe that I specifically am in a doomed timeline and everything is my fault somehow and I'm the reason that everything goes wrong. Somehow it's always connected to me. I also believe I must die first out of my loved ones and it's not possible for them to die unless I die (hence doomed timeline).
More about my ASD
Possible OSDD
I can be a bit creepy at moments in a way that I don't realize I'm being creepy? Due to many of my special interests my brain has been conditioned to randomly bring up facts about serial killers or strange ways to die or even what my friends call "cannibalistic humor". I do my best to try not to do this around others. I mask a lot cause I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. I can easily go into a meltdown or shutdown. I am highly paranoid and I'm an overthinker. The smallest of things can make me this way.
For example, I went outside for not even 3 minutes to let my dogs pee and all the noise of the outside world got louder and the lights got brighter, the world started spinning and I began hyperventilating. I could hardly walk myself inside cause my body was stiffening. I then proceeded to shutdown in my living room standing up for 10 minutes. I soon lost the ability to stay up and nearly fell on my face.
Another example is if I feel someone's mad at me I can start spiralling and I start hysterically crying, hyperventilate, and continuesly bash my head. This form of s.h has gotten incredibly out of hand it has become a stim over the years and I do it even when I'm happy. I have many weird movements and have poor motor skills.
As of right now we are still trying to figure everything out but I'm pretty sure we have a system. I believe me, (Milo) is the host and that I have other people in my brain that switch in given moments or at random. For example, a couple days ago for a few hours a person named Xio fronted. Xe is a completely different person than me with different interests, tastes, personality, and even voice.
As of now we have about 4 other alters from what I can tell. Their names are the following:
•Xio-Xe/Xer/Xem(not sure what to call Xem but Xe is a more bubbly alter)
•Azul-he/him (is the little and possible traumakeeper)
•Santana-they/she (the caretaker/protector)
•Mal-he/him(also not sure what to call him but he is terrible and the worst parts of me basically)
I'm still trying to figure out if I have introjects or that's just me. Which leads me to next section--
Idv
-Andrew Kreiss
-Norton Campbell
-Eli Clark
-Antonio
-Fan
Other Media
•Undertaker (black butler)
•Akira Fudo (Devilman Crybaby)
•Crona Gorgon (Soul Eater)
We are deciphering rn if this is me the host or if these are introjects..but rn I'd say most of these are me the host
